Mind Your Mind: A Self-Awareness Guide

Humans are truly remarkable—we’ve landed on the moon, taught machines to compose music, and created thirty-seven different types of milk. And yet, we still manage to offend people without even realizing it. Self-awareness is supposed to be our internal compass, helping us navigate our thoughts, emotions, and social interactions. But let’s be honest—it’s more like an app we forget to open until it’s too late. Let’s explore how self-awareness can improve not just our performance in the workplace, but also our everyday interactions. Because let’s be honest, despite our technological brilliance, we’re still the species that chews loudly in quiet rooms without a clue.

Let’s first mention a few key areas of self-awareness:

1. Understanding personal strengths and weaknesses.
2. Emotional regulation.
3. Impact on others.
4. Alignment with values and goals.
5. Authenticity and integrity

We’ll go into more depth on practical ways to ensure these areas in a bit, but I list them first because I want you to keep them in mind as you continue reading.

Self-Awareness in the Workplace

Not everyone has mastered the self-awareness skill. And realistically, the only person you can work on is you. Some people are just difficult (see Josh’s blog on Dealing with Difficult People!), but I think you’ll find even if you only improve your own self-awareness, it will make a difference.

Self-awareness is a vital skill in the workplace because it lays the foundation for emotional intelligence, effective communication, and personal growth. When individuals are self-aware, they understand their strengths, limitations, values, and emotional triggers. This awareness allows them to manage their reactions, make thoughtful decisions, and interact more effectively with others. It also helps them align their work with their personal and professional goals, leading to greater job satisfaction and motivation.

In terms of collaboration, self-awareness enhances relationships by fostering empathy and respect. People who are aware of how their behavior affects others are more likely to build trust, resolve conflicts constructively, and contribute to a positive team dynamic. They are also more open to feedback and willing to adapt, which is essential in fast-paced or changing work environments.

Self-awareness also drives performance and productivity. By recognizing what they do well, individuals can focus on tasks that play to their strengths, while also seeking development opportunities in areas where they need improvement. This proactive approach not only benefits the individual but also contributes to a more effective and resilient organization. Ultimately, self-awareness supports a culture of accountability, growth, and mutual respect.

Practical Ways to Better Your Self-Awareness

Let’s take a few moments to learn some suggestions that could help better your self-awareness in the areas listed above.

Understanding Personal Strengths and Weaknesses

To improve this area of self-awareness, start with regular self-reflection—set aside time each week to evaluate what went well and what could be improved. Personality and strengths assessments like Clifton Strengths, MBTI, or DISC can offer structured insights into your tendencies. And keeping a journal of successes and challenges helps identify patterns over time. To build on your strengths, volunteer for tasks that align with them, mentor others, and set stretch goals that push your capabilities. To improve weaknesses, consider taking relevant courses, collaborating with those who excel in those areas, and breaking down complex tasks into manageable steps.

Emotional Regulation

I’ve heard many times, “I can’t help it. I can’t control my emotions!” Wrong. We can and we need to. Another great example of this is when we say, “that person makes me so mad.” Statements like this just reflect our own immaturity. No one makes you mad; we choose to be mad. People don’t and shouldn’t have that much power over us so don’t let them! I often teach this principle to my kids, don’t let others irregulate you. The sooner we can learn this, the more grief we’ll save ourselves. Next time that person cuts you off on the freeway just choose to believe they are probably on their way to the hospital. Don’t let others steal your joy and control your emotions.

I’ve often heard people say, “I can’t help it—I just can’t control my emotions!” That’s not true. We can control our emotions, and more importantly, we must learn to. Another common phrase: “That person makes me so mad.” In reality, no one makes us mad—we choose how we respond. Statements like these reflect a lack of emotional maturity. When we allow others to dictate our emotional state, we give away our power. Why let someone else have that kind of control over your peace? This is something I regularly teach my kids: Don’t let others dysregulate you. The earlier we internalize this principle, the more emotional freedom and peace we gain.

Next time someone cuts you off in traffic, instead of reacting with anger, choose a different perspective—maybe they’re rushing to the hospital. Whether it’s true or not doesn’t matter; what matters is that you’ve chosen peace over frustration. Protect your joy. Guard your emotions. They belong to you—don’t hand them over so easily.

Take the time to understand your emotional triggers—those specific situations, people, or stressors that tend to provoke strong reactions. By observing how you typically respond to challenges or pressure, you can begin to identify patterns in your behavior. For example, you might notice that tight deadlines make you anxious or that certain types of feedback make you defensive. Reflecting on these moments can help you gain clarity about your emotional habits. Take some time to write those reflections down. That self-knowledge will help you to anticipate your reactions and choose more thoughtful, constructive responses in future situations, rather than reacting impulsively.

Impact on Others

Taking time at the end of each day or week to think about your interactions and behaviors can help you identify patterns in how you respond to different situations. Asking yourself questions like, “How did I handle that conversation?” or “Did I listen actively and respond appropriately?” allows you to become more conscious of your actions and their impact on others.

Another powerful method is to seek feedback from trusted colleagues or mentors. Invite honest input. Ask specific questions like, “How do I come across in meetings?” or “What could I do to communicate more clearly?” External perspective can reveal blind spots and help you grow in areas you may not have realized needed attention.

Observing how others react to you in real time can be incredibly informative as well. Pay attention to body language, tone of voice, and engagement levels during conversations. If you notice that people seem uncomfortable, disengaged, or overly cautious around you, it might be a sign to adjust your approach.

Alignment with Values and Goals

Improving self-awareness in relation to your values and goals begins with clarifying what truly matters to you. This involves identifying your core values—those guiding principles that shape your decisions and give your work meaning. Reflecting on questions like, “What kind of work feels fulfilling?” or “What principles do I want to uphold in my career?” can help you define these values clearly.

Once your values are clear, the next step is to set purpose-driven goals that reflect them. For instance, if you value personal growth, you might aim to learn a new skill, take on a leadership role, or pursue a certification. These types of goals not only advance your career but also bring a deeper sense of satisfaction because they’re rooted in what you care about most. It’s also important to regularly reflect on whether your daily actions align with your values and goals. If you find yourself spending time on tasks that don’t support your priorities, it may be time to adjust your focus or delegate where possible.

Creating a personal mission statement can also be a powerful tool. It sounds cheesy, I know, but a short statement that summarizes your values, strengths, and long-term vision can serve as a compass for decision-making and goal setting. To stay on track, consider keeping a journal. Reflecting on what’s working and what needs adjustment helps you remain intentional and adaptable.

Authenticity and Integrity

Bettering personal authenticity and integrity in the workplace begin with defining your core values—the principles that guide your decisions and behavior, such as honesty, respect, or accountability. Writing them down and reflecting on how they show up in your daily work helps you stay grounded in what truly matters. After meetings or important decisions, take a moment to ask yourself whether your actions reflected your values and whether you acted in a way that you’re proud of. This habit allows you to recognize when you’re on track and when adjustments are needed.

Being honest about your motives is another important step. Before making decisions, pause to consider whether you’re acting out of fear, ego, or pressure, or if your choices are aligned with your true beliefs and long-term goals. This kind of self-check helps you maintain integrity, especially under stress. Practicing transparency in your communication builds trust and shows others that you are genuine and reliable. And don’t just be transparent about the easy things. Be transparent about your mistakes and your short comings. Try to stay grounded during high-pressure situations through mindfulness or simply taking a pause before reacting. This can help you respond in ways that reflect your authentic self.

Reading through all these, you may notice two common suggestions – self-reflection and writing things down. If you’re like me, you may also see an opportunity to buy yourself a new journal. Do it! I think if you take the time to write down your thoughts, it will help you be much more aware of your feelings and your reactions. Maybe you notice you are pretty level-headed with your self-awareness. That’s wonderful. But my hope is that these suggestions will help you find at least some small way to improve in the areas listed above. Please feel free to share personal experiences below. I’d love more suggestions on things that have worked for you!